Writings
One of my favourite activity during my leisure time is writing. Anything.. including lyrics.. I may not be a writer or a journalist, but I do enjoy spitting out my ideas in words.. whatever I could think of.. whenever I can think of it..
Here are glimpse of my work. It is about a guy who just enter a manhood who faces though challenges along the way..
…Huh… what can I say more.. about myself ? Right now, I’m really in a deep sh*t. It is not just me.. I’ve pulled everyone into the sh*t I’ve created or should I called it my ‘pre-genius stupid investment’.
Another day is coming, the burdens on my shoulder grow bigger and become heavier to a point where I feel that I don’t have any strenght left not even to stand up. I could feel the air is getting hot and hotter that it become very hard to breath. It fells like a fire burning.. burning both my internal and external.. the flame of shame arouses inside and outside of me.. I don’t have the guts to be able to face anyone, not any one.. because, as far as I knew, I’ve troubled almost everyone.. my family, my relatives, my love and moreover, MYSELF!! Up to this very moment, I really hate myself for what I’ve done, for what I’ve foolishly planned.
Last four month, that was before any stupid decisions made by myself in the name of ‘Profit and big money’. My intention was fine as everyone would have the same goals and desire in life. Hey.. don’t tell me that you will say no to “Big Cash”..and hey.. there’s an addition for that.. Big Cash + FAST CASH.. What about that..?? Whoa! Wahsehh! Everything was perfect to me when I looked back at the plan and strategies.. Ngam-ngamlah.. it was a fine blueprint. The business is there! The money is there! The opportunity is there! And the time is now! These words keep on playing inside my mind.. the greedy side of my brain or should I admit, myself. But then, it came to a very basic law for business. Capital! This was my first mistake. Yes, I do have a capital but not at that time as per-planned. It won’t hurt this much if only I was able to stay more patient and wait for my own cash maybe for about a month or two. My own capital was about to be deposited in another one or two months which is more than enough to fund this biz.
However, I was so greedy and patient is not on my attitude’s and judgement at that time. So decided to start at the soonest. My capital was about a month away but I needed those fund to start as soon as possible. Then, in the most unlogical and stupid way, I’ve made up my mind to seek for ‘Along’ to fund my project and this was the beginning of this dark chapter of my life.
One thing about ‘tiger money’ is that, you can get it 24/7 anytime, anywhere and the terms are very loose. For a guy who thought that everything will work perfectly and fast, ‘tiger money’ is not a problem. It is a lie for me to say that I did not think about the consequences. I knew about it.. The interest was 15% per month and if I fail to pay the money back with its interest, they will haunt me and my family or even my life. The terms are cruel but the money/loan was cool and the timing was so perfect for me, as what I thought (at that time.. clever huh?! piece of sh*t.. ). I positively believed that paying all the money back with its interest is not a big deal as I confidently told myself, it’s a ‘kacang/peanut’..in just within a month. I strongly believed that because I knew that the project was very good and the possibilities to generate fast cash and big profits were very certain and I didn’t want to loose that opportunity.
As for this project, I didn’t seek out any member in family to consult with for my decision. It was an important one, and how arrogant I was by not telling my family about it…. Deep inside my heart, I just want to prove to them that I can come up with something which I can be proud of, and most important, I can contribute some good cash for my family. It’s not that we were in poverty. Hell no! We had a good income, our own family biz is doing great at that time. We have everything we wanted and we were happy. But ‘greed’ blinded my vision in my new project where I then put my trust into somebody I didn’t even know before. Instead of my family, I rather put my trust into somebody else whom I just two or three days met with. Yes, he is a friend. But that was my second mistake. Over-trust a stranger who instantly, just like a 5 minutes noodles, became my good friend! A good friend.. Huh! Wish I could rip his soul apart and make a soul satay out of it! syy…. that’s cruel!
Well, I first knew him as a good friend who had a terrible tragedy in both finance and family institutional. Oh, how I wish I didn’t met him in the first place but that’s how life goes. In a walk of life, we will meet all kind of people waiting to be known or to be friends. But there’s a fine line between a good and a bad one and we only realised when things already happened… as there should be a reason before everything. for that is how the world goes round. It is hard and I easily got blinded by symphaty’s value, especially when you teamed up with somebody who look so desperately seeking for life, who are supposed to be grateful and not letting his saviour’s down by showing hardwork with full honesty.. I’ved put my trust that he can make things happen and he’s willing to give his best shot with full honesty as he’s in a very difficult situation before.. very difficult that I could not imagine him to turn out to be a real lazy and a dishonest partner, a pretender who assumed that I knew nothing about what happened.
Hmm.. I learned something about people from all these. There are two type of people. One, who stands on his feet on the reality ground while another one is floating and are high on something. The first type is a good one as they knew what is happening around them and know where they currently stand plus a vision on their next step in life. The other one was, lost.. floating and are high on something..(probably something like a ‘kangaroo branded glue’ which addict prefer to put in a ngiukee’s plastic bag , then sniff ‘em up to heaven or even bintang kejora).. who then become sober and doesn’t care about what happen and what will in their life, who believes that everything will be done by just millions of theories and excuses of how things should be done.. but never a ‘practical’ on it.. just words.. this attitude is irritating and very annoying which I in couple of month later called it by a special name ‘Feather- Lazyness-Syndrome’ . ( I used the word ‘feather’ instead of ‘floating’)
To make things short, confidently with a big smile, I invest the ‘tiger money’ and I gave my trust to him. The location was far away from my residency which then lead to my third mistake which is an ‘unmonitored biz’. As I am running my family business, I must be in my town to look after it, while my new so-called promising project was hundreds of kilometres away. Hey, it’s ok to have biz no matter how far they were. That’s why we have terms called international biz, regional biz, global biz.. it doesn’t matter but it only matter when you didn’t monitor the progress especially the cash flow. Now.. I realized that if only I did put somebody whom I knew well, somebody who I can trust and honest to monitor the project, it won’t end like this. I kept on dreaming of ‘profits’ in the name of trusts, promises, friendship and a sweet verbal agreement…
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